OK, so you’ re disappointed. Your dream has ended in the trashbin. So , after you get finished with laying on the ground, kicking your heels, and screaming; or going on a drunken binge, or even beating someone up, you find you’ re still disappointed, and all that acting out hasn’ t set anything Now what do you do? Disappointment is a dead-end in your road. Now you have to figure out a new direction.
When what you’ re carrying out in a job or relationship in order to pursue a dream is not functioning no matter what you try, and you’ ve gotten some expert guidance (relationship counseling, therapy or coaching) that it’ s not going to work, it’ s probably time to move on.
Check to see if you are resisting doing what you know you need to do to be able to work, and if you won’ capital t or can’ t do it, after that you’ re wasting your time and energy, and it’ s time for you to change directions. If you gave this your best shot, and you know it’ s over, don’ t spend time in resentment and anger. It is going to hold you back.
If you need to get some therapy to help you via this transition, do it, so you can grieve what’ s lost (even in case you ended it, you’ ve dropped your hopes and dreams) and move your focus on to creating a good life in your new circumstance. Make sure you take care of yourself emotionally, financially and physically. You’ ll really feel a lot less resentment if you keep yourself with each other and in good health.
This is an important time to have your friends or even family around you, you need support. Don’ t isolate, you don’ capital t have to go right out and start something new again (in fact, I would recommend going slow with that) but you should have a social life along with friends and family. Even if you don’ t believe you feel ready to see people, call at your closest friends and spend time with them. They’ ll help you heal, and remind you that you still have people that love you.
Here are a few hints:
DO place it in perspective If you’ re disappointed, it hurts, but your a lot more not over. Look to your future, and see what you can do to make it better.
DO understand that you had some manage, but not total control over this. Look at what happened. What caused your reduction? You can improve your team effort, your own skills, your spirit and look forwards to the next event. On the other hand, don’ capital t blame yourself for the things you couldn’ t control. Take a balanced watch.
DON’ T quit No one is a failure until they will quit. Don’ t quit when you’ re behind. Instead, get determined to do better.
PERFORM try to learn from the experience Every frustration is a teaching moment. You can learn through whatever went wrong. Re-play your own tapes (mental or actual) of the event, and figure out how you can do much better.
DON’ T expect anyone to sympathize beyond the first few times. Sympathy is OK for a short while, but it debilitates you in the long run. You’ ll feel better if you pick yourself up, dust yourself away from, and get back in the game.